When a baby is born, you'd expect the first things parents worry about to be choosing a name, arranging baby clothes, or maybe setting up a crib. But in some parts of India, there's another fear quietly hanging over the moment: a knock on the door.
That knock, often coming just days after birth, is from the local hijra community. It's a tradition many of us grew up seeing - hijras visiting homes with music, claps, blessings, and yes, money requests. While it may have started as a cultural exchange of blessings, for many modern parents, it's now something else entirely; the pressure can feel overwhelming, and many families report being asked for thousands of rupees - with loud, embarrassing scenes if they refuse.
The Quiet Workaround: Giving a False Address
To avoid these unwanted visits, more and more parents are using a tactic that might seem surprising:
They give a false home address during hospital registration.
This small change makes it harder for anyone - including hijra groups - to track them down after the birth. While it's not a 'perfect solution,' it helps the parents to avoid the stress of dealing with unexpected visitors during such a delicate time.
I first heard about this from a friend in Delhi. She told me, "When a child was born in her family, they were warned in the hospital. If you don't want a scene at your door, just don't put your real home address on the birth certificate."
More and more parents - especially in cities and semi-urban areas - are giving false addresses in hospitals at the time of delivery. Why? To avoid visits from hijra groups who demand money, sometimes aggressively.
Some families report being asked for thousands of rupees and say that refusing to pay led to loud scenes outside their homes, public embarrassment, and even threats. So instead of dealing with the drama, they take a detour: lie at the hospital and avoid being tracked later.
A Tradition Losing its Meaning?
Let's be real - not every hijra visit is a problem. In fact, some people still welcome them, offer money willingly, and see it as part of Indian cultural richness. But the problem arises when these visits turn into extortion rather than a blessing.
It paints the entire hijra community in a negative light, even though many members live with dignity and face massive social discrimination themselves. It's a broken system. On one side, families feel trapped. On the other side, hijras are stuck in traditions that don't always offer sustainable livelihoods.
Tips for Parents Who Want to Protect Their Privacy
If you're considering this step, here are some smart, low-risk ways to do it:
- Use a friend's or relative's address that is far from your actual residence. It's still a real address, just not yours.
- Register under your hometown address if you're delivering in a different city - a valid and often accepted practice.
- Keep all hospital receipts and documents carefully in case you need to correct the address officially later.
Long-Term Considerations
If you give a false address, make sure to plan ahead:
- You may need to apply for an address correction later with the municipal authority.
- For school admissions or a passport, you'll likely be asked to provide proof of address - so be prepared to fix the documentation when needed.
What if They Show up Years Later?
Even if you successfully avoid a visit right after your baby's birth, it's possible that someone from the hijra community may still track you down months or even years later.
Here's a simple and respectful response many parents are now using:
"We've already given the money and taken the blessings where the child was born."
By saying this, you're implying that any blessings or traditions were already taken care of at the place of birth, not your current home. It's polite, firm, and helps avoid unnecessary confrontation.
Bottom Line: Your Baby, Your Boundaries
Every parent has the right to peace, safety, and privacy - especially in those early days of bringing a new born home. While giving a false address isn't ideal or legally encouraged, it's one way some families are reclaiming control in a situation that can feel out of their hands.
The hijra tradition deserves respectful dialogue and support. But so do new parents who are just trying to protect their family.
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